Have you ever been reading a good book, and suddenly there is a paragraph that pulls you right out of the story? Often, this is author intrusion, where the author is speaking to you, instead of the characters. In 99% of cases, this is a big no-no. (Yes, Stephen King does it. But he's at the level where many rules don't apply anymore. You aren't.)

 

I found a very good article by Robert Dugoni that looks at various forms of author intrusion. http://killzoneauthors.blogspot.com/2014/04/hey-butt-out-im-reading-here.html